


oh, resistance is useless

by dreamember



Series: that's how easy love can be (abc) [4]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 13:18:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11336316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamember/pseuds/dreamember
Summary: Five times Robert and Aaron went on a date (+ the one time they actually used the word)(D is for Dates)





	oh, resistance is useless

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh (also see: ugh). So, basically while trying to add a new chapter on my phone (big mistake) my phone crashed and in my frustrations, I managed to delete the original of this. I'd almost finished the rest of the parts by then, so I figured I might as well just post it. Admittedly, I lost a lot of inspiration for this (probably because I've been writing it since January) and couldn't get my flow going, and the end result is, well, not what I'd hoped for. 
> 
> But anyways, enough of my moaning! It's finally done, and I have the next instalment of this series planned. I'm excited about it. It's gonna be angsty, so enjoy this fluff ;)

**i. december 2014**

It began simmering as soon as the idea popped into his mind, but it isn’t until he slowly pulls up outside the barn that it begins to surface – the doubt and regret. There’s something hidden in the small confines of his boot. There’s some _one_  hidden inside the larger confines of the barn.

Together, they bring him to the edge of a cliff that he isn’t ready to peer over, let alone jump from.

Drawn from his thoughts by a vibration in his pocket, Robert pulls out his phone to glance at his screen. One new message:  ** _You coming today?_**

Ordinarily, his lip would quirk, and he’d shoot back some smutty response. ‘ _I hope so’_ with an emoji attached to the end - the winking one that always gets the best response from Aaron. This time, though, he hesitates before allowing his fingers to tap out his reply.

**Yeah, just pulled up.**

\-----

Robert hasn’t seen the inside of a barn for years. Not since he last lived in Emmerdale most likely. Pushing open the door, though, brings a comforting sense of familiarity. When things got too much in the house – when he’d argued with Andy (again), when his dad had aired his disappointments (again) – Robert would seek refuge in any of the outhouses. He’d climb onto one of the hay bales, pull his knees against his chest and finally just breathe.

Sometimes he wonders if that’s what this is too – seeking refuge.  _Hiding._

Aaron is rising from his position on one of the bales when Robert ducks inside, eyes immediately finding each other’s. Something unravels in his chest. He’s tried to convince himself that it’s just sex, that Aaron could be anyone else and he’d feel no different, but the truth is, Robert hasn’t been able to get Aaron out of his mind since he found his car hidden away in Moira’s barn. Back then, the thought of Aaron being gay or reciprocating even the slightest of feelings hadn’t crossed his mind. Instead, thoughts of Aaron were saved for private contemplations with his left hand, as he wondered what it’d be like to get Aaron into his bed.

Now Robert doesn’t need to wonder. He  _knows_. He knows the sounds, knows the movements, knows the actions and the stares. Robert knows it all, but it still isn’t enough. 

Aaron is a thirst he just can’t quench.

“Interesting choice of venue,” Aaron comments. Robert watches as Aaron slides his phone into the pocket of his black jacket, an integral part of the all-black ensemble that Aaron seems to favour above all else. “Do all your business meeting here, do ya?”

“Well, it depends on the business.”

Robert takes a step forward, opting to ignore Aaron’s scoff and instead readying to pull Aaron in when he lifts a hand to Robert’s chest. It isn’t powerful enough to stop him, but the gesture halts him regardless. He steps back. “What have I done now?”

And so it begins.

Strangely, the back and forth that he and Aaron so often become embroiled in never feels like a drag. More often than not, he revels in it. It’s just one more stark contrast between his two lovers, one that sends a brief shot of panic through his system. Robert daren’t push conversations too far with Chrissie, mindful of her more sensitive tendencies when it comes to jibes, joke or not.

Aaron, though. Aaron likes to push, and Robert loves to push back.

\-----

There's no denying the sex is good. Brilliant, even. Not even the uncomfortable sensation of hay scratching at his skin, or the mild stench of animal, can make him say otherwise.

If anything, the novelty of it all only adds to his desire.

For the first time, Robert finds himself able to soak in and appreciate having Aaron underneath him. It isn't a burst of frenzied passion like their first encounter in the back of some poor sod's car, or the hurried quickie in Aaron's bedroom above Katie and Andy's wedding reception. No, if he wanted, Robert knows he could probably get away with an hour or two today. He'd told Chrissie he was walking into the village and might pop in to see Vic, but he didn't know when he'd be back. She wasn’t bothered, too occupied by spoiling Lachlan to pay anyone else much attention.

With each thrust, he makes sure to watch the contortions of pleasure as they spread across Aaron's features, watch Aaron's eyes alternate between fluttering closed and opening to meet Robert's gaze, and watch Aaron's lips part to release a breathy moan before his bottom lip is captured by teeth. The sight of Aaron slowly smiling at him, though, is what causes him to shudder and collapse, groaning into Aaron’s neck as he spills into the condom.

 

Calmness follows; a gentle silence. Aaron's hands, the ones that only minutes ago had a firm grip on his hips, are now resting on his lower back, fingers slowly brushing back and forth. Before, with other blokes, Robert immediately shrugged off any form of affection. Yet here, he finds himself curling further into Aaron's touch and yearning for more.

"Never said before," Aaron suddenly says. He sounds quiet, almost hesitant to speak, "happy Christmas."

Robert smiles, rolling over and pushing himself up onto his forearms to hover over Aaron once more. "Yeah, it really is."

It only takes a moment for bashfulness to flood Aaron's features, yet his eyes never falter from Robert's. The eye contact is intense. A little much for Robert's liking, causing him to squirm, but his urge to flee is outweighed by his lust. There’s only one thing on his mind as he leans down again, but apparently, there are other things on Aaron’s. They’re interrupted by a low rumble below him, one that has Aaron breaking eye contact to look away, with an almost embarrassed expression. Robert can’t stop the warmth within him from spreading. Terrible as it may sound, he isn’t sure he’s ever felt the same overwhelming endearment when in Chrissie’s company. This is something completely different.

“Hungry?” Robert asks. He can feel his smile stretching once more, blossoming into a wide grin. It scares him even more with each passing day - how tightly his happiness seems to be tethered to Aaron, and how one day, he could lose all of this. It's only been a matter of weeks, he knows that, but Aaron makes him feel like... well, like  _Robert_. Chrissie makes him feel powerful and strong, makes him feel like he could take on the world in a fist-fight and win, but Robert can't remember the last time he felt so comfortable in his own skin with someone.

“A bit, yeah.”

“I brought some food if you want? It’s in the car.”

“What sorta food? Some poncy shit?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Robert whispers. His nose brushes against Aaron's as he steals another kiss. A little too tender. Lingering a little too long. “Don’t move.”

\-----

“The hell is this?”

Robert lets out a startled laugh at Aaron’s voice. When he glances over, Aaron is already staring at him with a questioning, almost horrified, gaze. The sandwich sits exposed on the palm of his hand, the top slice of bread held in the other. Turkey slices smothered in a red sauce. It looks like something from a veggie horror film.

“A winter fruits sauce. It’s just cranberries and the sort – not going to kill you.”

“Fruit,” Aaron deadpans, levelling Robert with an unimpressed look, “with meat.”

“Yeah, like ham and pineapple on a pizza—”

“—which should be illegal.”

“What’s wrong with ham and pineapple?”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.”

Robert shakes his head, not attempting to bite back his grin as he leans back against the hay bale, watching as Aaron mimics the movement.

It goes without saying that they’ve been closer than this. Physically, they’ve been as close as can be. But here, sitting beside each other with biceps brushing and feet meeting under the blanket... it feels the most intimate they’ve been. It’s not a date, no matter how many times the word circles his head. He won’t  _(can’t)_  allow himself to start using such words... but it’s  _something_.

They’re tiptoeing dangerously close to the edge of that cliff.

_Together._

* * *

**ii. january 2015**

He’s never known anything quite so cliché. All that’s missing, really, is a violinist.

When Robert had suggested getting some food before locking themselves away in their room, Aaron had been thinking more along the lines of a drive-thru, maybe. Or the Wetherspoons down the road. Something simple. He'd assumed that restaurants would be left untouched for Chrissie.

Turns out he was wrong.

Attached to the hotel is a dimly-lit restaurant, air filled with the murmurings of quiet, intimate conversations and gentle mood music. It's worlds away from the places Aaron usually eats in. Hell, usually he wouldn’t even bother looking through the menu. But Robert had nudged his elbow and offered him a warm smile. Saying _‘no_ ’ didn't even feel like an option.

So here he is, sat opposite Robert at a table draped in cliché white cloth. Robert is wittering on about some client and his refusal to sign a deal or something – Aaron isn't entirely sure. He tuned out a while ago. Instead, his attention is focused on how animated Robert has become. There's a light there, in his eyes, that’s usually blocked by arrogance or distaste. He wonders how many people have actually seen this side of Robert, or even bothered to pay attention.

Robert's supposed obsession with money and endless greed are all people seem to talk about. He gets it, because sometimes that’s all he can see too, but Aaron is, slowly, realising there’s so much more. He’s seeing just how much Robert loves everything about being a businessman. Even if he didn't have the Whites' money, that passion would still be there, ever present.

Everyone is so focused on the ugliest parts of Robert’s personality that they’re completely oblivious to the most beautiful. Aaron almost pities them.

"You okay?" Robert asks, snapping Aaron back from his wandering thoughts. There's a glass in his hand, partly raised to his downturned lips. They're both drinking beer, thankfully, meaning Aaron doesn't feel as much of an outsider, surrounded by wine drinkers. It's different to his usual choice, with a dash of extra flavour that Aaron can't quite place, but it's okay. Good, even. Robert had smiled at Aaron's admission, promising to find out the brand for future reference. He isn't sure whether Robert meant for it to sound like they have a future to look forward to; a time when Robert will buy him bottles of expensive beer for Christmas. Intentional or not, Aaron’s stomach flips at the thought. "Aaron?"

"Mm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Sorry."

"You sure? We can head straight up if you want. Sure we could find something to do."

Aaron smirks and bites his lip, half tempted, but eventually shakes his head. "Nah. I'm all right, I promise. Just thinkin'."

"Sounds ominous."

"Nah, just... this's nice."

"You sound surprised," Robert laughs. He finally raises the glass to his lips, tipping the amber liquid into his mouth, but his attention never strays from Aaron. Aaron stares back. With the candlelight dancing in Robert’s eyes and a soft smile playing at his mouth, there's only one word racing around Aaron's head. A constant thrum of _datedatedate._ He's tried to shake it off several times already – but to no avail. If anything, it’s only getting louder.

"Guess I am," Aaron shrugs, "places like this ain't really made for people like me.”

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why aren't _places like this_ for _people like you_?" Aaron blinks. He can't quite read the expression on Robert's face, but it strikes him as genuinely confused; as if he seriously can't think of any reason. As if he's even disappointed that Aaron would say such a thing.

"I dunno, I just don't really fit in do I?"

It's hardly a lie. The restaurant is fairly full, and Aaron knows he stands out like a sore thumb. Everyone is meticulously styled, carrying themselves with unwavering confidence and self-assurance. These are the kind of people that Robert looks at home with, and probably usually socialises with. Chrissie would be better-suited sat here. This is where _she_ belongs.

"Aaron, if anyone's looking at you, it's probably because I was right. You actually _don't_ look half bad in a suit. I might have to take you out again..."

_I might have to take you out again._

It’s definitely a suggestion, more than Aaron expected, but 'take you out again' is innocent enough. It keeps to the no-strings rule set at the beginning, even if they've broken that rule repeatedly.

But then Robert lifts his head to meet Aaron’s eyes with a soft, open expression. Admittedly, sometimes Aaron struggles with spoken conversations. He can’t always grasp the obvious implications or grabs the wrong end of the stick. Now, though, Aaron’s stomach twists with a certainty that he isn’t misinterpreting Robert’s silent words. The true meaning he daren’t speak.

"Quit talkin' daft 'n eat your steak," is all Aaron can think to respond with. The breathlessness in his voice is obvious, he knows it is, and Aaron knows that Robert has heard it too when he glances up at Aaron through his eyelashes and offers him a warm smile.

He doesn’t think Robert’s ever looked more beautiful.

* * *

 

**iii. april 2015**

Robert had rolled out of bed with a grumble.

Over the past two days, they’d forged a bubble, of sorts, at Home Farm. It was infectious – a feeling he struggled to tear himself from, but Robert knew he couldn't abandon work entirely. Not without questions being asked, questions he wouldn’t be able to answer. Where possible, he’d rescheduled meetings with clients, and he’d tried to focus on work that could be done at home.

There was even one morning – when he’d woken up to find Aaron curled around him, gel-free and content – that he set up to work in bed. It felt so domestic, sat in bed with one hand on his laptop and the other combing through Aaron’s hair. When Aaron curled even closer, face tucked into Robert’s stomach – he wondered whether they’d ever be able to go back to what they were before...

But that was another day. Today, working from bed wasn’t an option.

Mr Branning is a tower of a man with a slight tendency to spit, but mostly a nice guy and, most importantly an incredibly rich, incredibly formidable client. Robert would bet money on being strung up if he even dared to suggest a Skype call.

Of course, Aaron dragging him into the shower also helped.

\-----

He’s striding across the car park, keys jangling in his hand and basking in the glow of a successful business deal, when Aaron texts him. At the sight of his name alone, Robert grins. He’s in too deep, but the thought is pushed aside for now, as he slows his steps to open the message.

**_Bloke just told me he wants to meet at 2 instead. Probs wont be back till 5_ **

**You still in Hotten then?** He types back, loosening the knot on his tie. **Just finished up with my deal. Can take you out for lunch if you fancy?**

**_If you’re buying._ **

**Deal. Where are you? I’ll pick you up.**

As he finally slides down into the buttery leather seat, throwing his folder and tie onto the passenger seat, his phone buzzes with another message from Aaron. They’ve only started sending each other photos in the past few weeks, Aaron finally feeling comfortable enough and Robert finding he quite enjoys receiving something more personal than letters on a screen. When he opens the attachment, he can’t help but grin. It’s a selfie, with Aaron sitting on the bonnet of his car, biting his lip in a weak attempt to conceal a smile and the sign for a shopping centre in the background.

\-----

It takes him ten minutes to find the shopping centre, and the April sun sits high and bright in the sky when he finally swings into the car park. His eyes fall immediately on Aaron's figure, still leaning back against the bonnet of his Peugeot. The sight alone makes getting out of bed worth it.

As he steps out, Robert shamelessly drags his eyes up down Aaron’s body, dressed in a navy-blue suit and crisp white shirt, all fitted to perfectly accentuate the muscular frame that he so often decides to hide under baggy t-shirts and hoodies.

"Are you sure you can't cancel this meeting? I can think of a few ways to make use of the time."

He knows all too well how confident a good suit can make you feel. Robert wouldn’t say he ever really lacks in confidence, but he has specific suits set aside for specific events – the ones that make him feel powerful and untouchable. Wearing those suits, he sometimes thinks he could take on the world.

When Aaron pushes himself away from the car and closes the space between them, Robert watches, anticipates what's to come, and wonders if the same could be said for Aaron in this suit.

"Could you now?" Aaron’s voice is low, teasing even. He loves Aaron like this. He loves Aaron full stop – a truth that he finds a little easier to admit to himself now – but this side of Aaron is one that Robert revels in. The flirty, fun and care-free version that makes his stomach fizz. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Well... I know a shortcut back to the village. Half an hour and we could be back home, in bed."

 _Back home._ It’s a slip of the tongue, one that just seems to... happen. It felt natural. Worryingly natural, in fact. But if Aaron takes notice of him, he doesn't let on. Instead, he leans closer, until they’re a breath away, "sounds good... but d'ya wanna know what I fancy?"

"What?"

Aaron smiles, biting his lip slightly as he murmurs, "a bargain bucket."

“A- _what_?”

“You heard.”

Robert is left standing motionless, stunned and confused, as a laughing Aaron makes his way round to the passenger side. Even before they began _this_ , Aaron was a mystery to him – someone that he couldn’t predict. On reflection, it’s probably what kept his attention for so long. He shouldn’t be surprised when Aaron catches him off-guard in ways nobody else can, but that doesn’t mean he _isn’t._

He gathers himself again after a moment, and moves back towards the car, sliding down into the seat. He waits for the car to burst into life before speaking again, glancing across at Aaron.

"You're in a good mood today." There's no response as they drive away, the only sound being the rumbling engine and Aaron's fingers intermittently tapping against his thigh.

Eventually, Aaron shrugs. "Nice day, innit?"

There's something else, though. Something more to Aaron’s words, but Robert decides not to push. Instead, he just offers him a smile when he looks across. Aaron smiles back, honest and open, with a softness to his eyes that once made Robert want to run for the hills. Now, he moves his hand across and rests his hand on Aaron's knee, squeezing gently.

 _"Just hanging out in general,"_ he'd at the beginning of the week, when Aaron nervously shuffled into Home Farm, looking far less relaxed than he is now, _"being normal."_

He squeezes Aaron's knee again, warmth blooming in his chest.

\-----

There are three cars in front of them at the drive-thru. Aaron is grumbling, jovial mood slowly disappearing as he’s forced to wait for his fast-food fix, but Robert is thankful for the chance to glance at the menu without any added pressure. It’d hit him – when Aaron had asked what he fancied getting – that he hadn't visited a fast-food chain for years. Maybe as far back as when he broke into the business sector, but definitely not since he first began dating Chrissie.

He'd suggested it, once, but she'd turned her nose up, and that was that.

"Was thinkin' maybe we should get a 12-piece bucket or summat. I'm _starvin'_."

"I offered to make you breakfast this morning."

Aaron scoffs, "you offered me toast or some fruit."

"Not my fault you're a ganet, is it?" Robert quips, ducking with a laugh on his lips when Aaron tries to hit him. "Oi! Keep on like that and KFC isn't the only thing you won't be getting today."

\-----

Try as he might, Robert can’t deny how good the bag sat on Aaron's lap smells. Over the years, he’s visited plenty expensive, highly recommended restaurants, but none of them have had his mouth watering quite like this. He hadn't even realised how much he craved it until it was in front of him.

Startlingly, he realises it's not too dissimilar to Aaron.

And _not_ just because he makes Robert’s mouth water.

He's always liked men, and when he moved to London, he finally allowed himself to explore that side of him. The men, though, were always of the same ilk – attractive, tailored and successful. He'd assumed that was just his type, until Aaron. Aaron contradicted everything he thought he knew about himself. He didn't know he wanted – _needed_ – someone to push him back with as much force as he pushed them. He didn't know he wanted to feel calloused hands and rough stubble against his skin.

But now he's had it, he's _felt_ it, and he can't seem to shake the cravings.

\-----

It takes a good five minutes and a fight with a Ford Fiesta, but Robert eventually finds space to park in. It's tucked away in a back corner, isolated and mildly obscured. Aaron laughs. "Not sure there's enough room in the backseat for that, mate."

"Not enough room for what?"

"You _know_ what." Aaron seems unable to stop his lips from twitching, threatening to break into a smile, but Robert admires his efforts to smother it. Robert doesn't even try. "I've only got 45 minutes till I gotta be in that meetin'. It's a big deal. Don't wanna screw it up just cos I've been... well, screwin' _you_.” Aaron sighs, smile fading. “Gonna be bad enough as it is."

It's there again, emerging through his mood to this point – the self-doubt and worry. Robert hates it. Hates that Aaron can't see just how intelligent he truly is. Robert's seen it for himself at the scrapyard; how quickly Aaron picked up the business side of their new venture. He's procured deals from all over the country and is always on top of his paperwork. If Robert didn't know him, he'd never believe Aaron’s only been in the business game for three months.

"You'll do great, you always do. Have some confidence in yourself, for once. You're incredible."

Aaron stares at him with creased eyebrows for a moment, with an expression Robert can’t quite get a read of, before turning to frown at his food. The playfulness from earlier has all but gone, now. Instead, they sit silently, allowing the tension to build around them, and Robert wonders if he's pushed it too far this time.

This kind of open adoration and affection is usually reserved for post-sex embraces, or those precious early morning moments in a hotel room when they’re still soft with sleep. This week, though, Robert’s noticed that these moments have broken through during the day. Sometimes it's a gentle smile, other times it’s a lingering kiss just because they can. They both melt into these moments, savouring them, but Robert is still hesitant about voicing his affections. It's hard to gauge how Aaron may react. He knows Aaron appreciates it, but his face will cloud after a moment or two – as if the reality their relationship is suddenly brought back to the forefront.

He doesn't want Aaron to think about any of that, especially not this week.

Aaron breathes out, a shuddering thing that catches Robert’s attention immediately, but glances back up at Robert with a hesitant smile. "Don’t want an ego as big as yours, do I?"

"Not really," Robert leans across, resting his left arm on the console, and uses his free hand to cup Aaron's cheek, "I like you plenty exactly like this."

He presses a kiss against Aaron's lips – a gentle, lingering one that tastes of salt and ketchup.

Tastes of contentment.

* * *

**iv. february 2016**

Robert's thigh is pressed against his. It's a welcome familiar warmth in the biting February breeze, and Aaron can feel something inside him slowly settle. Perhaps, if anything good is to come of this situation, then it could be this. He never expected to be here again, sat beside Robert without the undercurrent of hatred that had begun to flow. As far as he was concerned, that chapter of his life was over, despite how much it pained him.

He can't pinpoint exactly when things began to change. It might've even been as early as December, when his mum inadvertently forced them back into each other's orbit. He noticed then that there was something different about Robert, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. With each interaction, though, it became more difficult. First, it was simply the feeling of Robert's eyes on him, asking whether he's alright. Then it was turning up to the scrapyard with blatantly false pretences, using the business as an excuse to check in on him.

And then, he collapsed.

Robert wouldn't leave him alone from then on, no matter how hard Aaron pushed, Robert just wouldn’t budge. While part of him was comforted by the knowledge that Robert was so fiercely adamant that he was going to help Aaron, his instincts were to refuse. There was no way Robert actually _cared_.

"Coffee's gonna go cold," Robert says with a gentle elbow to the side, drawing Aaron from his musings. There's a certain softness to his face recently, a softness that Aaron mistook for pity at first. Now, he knows it's the kind of softness he could only dream of a year ago.

Aaron's eyes drift back to the paper cup in his hands for a moment, trying to shake off his thoughts. His therapist, once, had told him that he needed to stop living so much in the past, and should instead begin focusing on the present. The present where the Robert he tried to convince himself existed, somewhere underneath everything, _does_ exist. Smiling, he knocks his knee into Robert's. "Have to take me for another, then, won't you?"

Something flickers behind Robert's eyes, but it disappears just as quickly. There was a time when there'd be no hesitation. Their words were quick and often witty – a game of back and forth that could go on and on. Now, though, they find themselves stumbling backwards, trying to keep their distance from that flirtatious line they so often accidentally crossed.

Thankfully, Robert directs the conversation into safer territory. They use the time to catch up properly – to talk about Diane and Chas' respective recoveries, the weekend's football, about anything that makes this feel like just a typical coffee date.

_Date._

It's there again. Aaron's tried, he really has, to ignore the niggling in his mind since Robert offered to buy him a coffee. Sure, it's hardly a candle-lit dinner, but this feels a lot like reconnecting on some level…

"Have I lost you again?"

"What?"

"You seem to be thinking a lot," Robert comments. There's a rueful smile, as if he's wary of his words, but continues, "keep losing you."

"You've not lost me." He pauses, realising how the words sound. Robert, to his credit, doesn't react – not vocally anyway. Aaron can see the surprise in his eyes, and the smile that threatens to pull at his lips. _Because I still love ya._ Truth be told, though, Aaron realises that he means it. Robert hasn't lost him, just like he hasn't lost Robert. After everything – all the pain and months that have passed between them, they're still here. Together.

\-----

Later, when Aaron storms away, face burning with rejection, Robert follows. He _always_ follows, no matter how hard Aaron tries to push him away. He might sometimes be a few steps, or even miles, behind him – but eventually, he’ll catch up.

His stubbornness is as frustrating as it is comforting, but Aaron wouldn’t want him any other way.

* * *

**v. july 2016**

It’s almost a routine, now.

They make plans, they book everything, and then they fall through. Rinse and repeat.

This time, they at least made it till when they were supposed to leave at five to 6, deciding to catch the bus into Hotton and use the money saved on a larger bucket of popcorn. They’ve got enough money in the bank to not worry about a few quid here and there, but still, it’s the principle of the thing. Robert spent plenty time thoughtlessly throwing money about when he was with Chrissie. Weird as it may sound, it’s a nice, to feel grounded again in a way he hasn’t for years.

He’d let Aaron pick the film, half-dreading what his boyfriend (that little word that never gets old, and Robert doubts ever _will_ get old) would pick but knowing tonight wasn’t about a film. It was about getting Aaron out of the house, distracting him from his worries about Chas’ PTSD relapse and finally spending some time together. Time together alone, just the two of them, something they haven’t had much of since, well... since Liv had barrelled into their lives like a bull in a china shop. Once they’d accidentally let slip their plans to Vic, she’d immediately offered to keep an eye on her with a gleeful smile on her face.

( _“I haven’t had chance to hang out with my new little sister-in-law, yet!” Had been Vic’s exact words. Despite the horrified expression on Aaron’s face, Robert had watched the blush creep up his neck and fill out his cheeks. Whether Vic intended to or not, the words made Robert wonder whether one day it’d be a reality. In-laws, marriage and a solid future. Surprisingly, the thought didn’t fill him with dread.)_

They’re tugging on their coats when Liv gallops, heavy-footed just like her brother, across the landing and towards the bathroom. Robert rolls his eyes and pats down his pockets again, triple-checking he has his phone, wallet and keys, when he hears it. The sounds from the bathroom.

Retching and spitting. Sobbing.

Aaron moves first, Robert seconds after, the pair of them racing up the stairs and skidding into the bathroom where they find Liv on her knees, head in the toilet bowl.

“Think ‘m sick.” She mumbles, voice echoing slightly before she gips again. The hands gripping the toilet are shaking, white-knuckled as she gasps for breath again, and it’s enough for Robert to take charge, step around Aaron and crouch beside her.

When he glances up at Aaron, Robert’s immediately struck by how pale _Aaron_ is. He’d known of Aaron’s phobia, cringing and dashing off whenever someone’s sick on a show, but he’s never seen Aaron react like this. Shell-shocked and clearly torn between comforting his baby sister and fleeing the room.

Rubbing at Liv’s back, Robert nods at Aaron. “Go fetch some water, yeah?” _For Liv and for you._

“S’rry.” Liv groans. She looks up at Robert with bloodshot eyes and his heart clenches. _God, when did she manage to worm her way in there?_ “F’r ruinin’ y’ night.”

“It doesn’t matter. I think you probably saved me from a terrible movie, anyway, knowing your brother. He just likes cars and explosions.”

“Cars, ‘xplosions ‘n hot lads.”

“Uh, he doesn’t need hot lads. He already _has_ a hot lad, thank you very much.”

Liv snorts. “You wish.”

Behind him, there’s another laugh, this one quiet and gentle, but it still catches Robert’s attention. Aaron’s leaning against the doorframe when he twists, with a glass of water in his hand and a soft smile on his face. Robert isn’t sure whether he’s amused or surprised by the conversation. Maybe it’s both. Either way, there’s colour back in his cheeks, and it settles Robert's stomach as well.

One sickie in the house is bad enough, he’s not sure he has the energy to worry about two.

It takes a little while, Liv shaky on her feet and still trembling all over, but eventually, he and Aaron manage to manoeuvre her to her bed. She’s asleep within minutes, after no doubt using the last of her energy fighting against the glass of Andrews they try to give her. From the doorway, Robert watches Aaron gently drag the cold flannel across her forehead a final time before kissing it, amazed but not surprised by just how tentative he is.

 

(Distantly, he wonders if it was this exhausting for his mum when he was ill.

Then immediately shakes the thought from his mind.)

 

Robert decides to break the news to Victoria. A little dramatic, perhaps, but his little sister has a taste for the dramatics sometimes, and Robert knows how excited she’d been to hang-out with Liv.

“Oh, the poor thing! Is she alright?” Carrots and peeler abandoned, Victoria turns to Robert with wide eyes and Robert’s heart swells. She reminds him so much of their mother, sometimes. In her cooking and her gentle kindness, but especially in moments like this – when kids are involved. More specifically, a kid that she so often jokes is essentially his and Aaron’s, these days. He feels the pride thrum through him, and knows mum would feel the same.

“Yeah, there’s been a 24-hour bug going round the school, so it’s probably just that.”

“Does she want some soup? I could make her some soup!”

“Vic, I don’t know—”

“I’m going to make her some soup. I have mum’s recipe on my phone.” Pulling the device from her pocket, she shoos (literally shoos, with matching hand-movement and mothering tone) him out of the kitchen. “I’ll take it up, don’t worry. Go find Aaron and order a pizza or something. Just because you’re not going out doesn’t mean you can’t still have a good night.”

\-----

“Not exactly how I imagined tonight,” Aaron mumbles into Robert’s shoulder, words smothered by his shirt, the warmth of Aaron’s breath seeping through the cotton. Liv’s still upstairs, asleep now, but brighter than she was earlier in the night, even smiled at him when he brought her a second bowl of mum’s soup. They’re watching Captain America in the dark, curled up on the sofa with a few empty cans and what’s left of their Chinese still in boxes on the coffee table. Truth be told, Robert never thought they’d be this kind of couple, the type that wrap themselves around each other until they’re a tangle of limbs, but it’s nice. Better than their original plans, in fact.

“When does anything work out how we imagined? Doesn’t mean it’s bad, though.” Robert tucks his chin, presses a kiss to Aaron’s gel-free hair. “Sometimes it’s even better.”

* * *

**\+ april 2017**

They’ve done it up since the last time they were here, but there’s still the familiarity of it, the memories of not only this place but all their hotel rendezvous. There’s even a hint of a country theme to their room, with photos of rolling fields and hay bales. It makes Aaron smile, remember the good times they had. Because there were good times, it wasn’t all bad. It was when they fell for each other, hard and fast, deep in the pits of their stomachs and the darkest corners of their hearts.

It was different, though. Now, as Aaron casts his eyes over the body next to him, there’s a certainty to their future that he didn’t even allow himself to dream of.

Robert’s spread out next to him, flicking through the telly with his arm wrapped around Aaron’s shoulders, allowing Aaron to tuck into the space there and curl up contently. His hand is stroking at Aaron’s skin aimlessly, feather-light fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake, and it’s nice. He feels content in a way he never thought he’d be allowed. Smiling, Aaron presses closer.

“You’re the loudest thinker I’ve ever met, you know that?” There’s a smile in Robert’s voice, one he’s grown used to over the past year. He remembers a time when he had to convince himself he was just imagining it, so scared of falling any further. “C’mon, what’s up?”

“Nothing. Just... thinking about how far we’ve come.”

Robert hums, throwing the remote onto the cream sheets below them and lifts his now-spare hand to tangle their finger together. The clink of their wedding rings is Aaron’s new favourite sound. “Anything in particular?”

“Not really.” Aaron shrugs. “Remember the last time we were here? We went for tea downstairs.”

“How could I forget? Was our first date, wasn’t it?”

Craning his neck back, Aaron looks at Robert, who meets him with unfaltering eyes. “You thought that was a date, then?”

“Yeah, course. Candlelit meal kinda screams date, doesn’t it? Didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to let myself think that. Dates usually lead somewhere. I knew our dates wouldn’t.”

Aaron tries not to think about it too often, the negativity and bottomless pit of this will amount to nothing but pain, but they’re here now. They made it, and they’re stronger for it all. He wonders if Robert’s thoughts are along the same lines, reflecting on the mistakes they made amidst their lust, when a kiss lands on his forehead. Gentle, loving and honest.

“They did, though. In the end.”

“Mm. Shame it took so much shit to get here.”

“I wouldn’t change any of it, though. Made us who we are, didn’t it? Getting shot put things into perspective for me, I guess. I’m not sure I would’ve got there on my own.”

“You did though, ‘n I’m proud of you.” At Robert’s disagreeing grunt, Aaron sits up and leans back to face him head-on. There’s an expression on Robert’s face, one Aaron can’t quite read entirely, but it makes his heart ache. He breathes in - curses Jack Sugden for making Robert believe he isn’t worthy of praise - and breathes out. “I mean it, Robert. You’ve come so far, you’ve changed so much, and it’s all for the better. I never thought we’d get here, not even when it was a few weeks in and you were already taking me on Christmas Day picnics.”

“When did you, then?” Robert asks, expression still pinched but softer at least, “When did you think we’d get here?”

“That afternoon last February,” it takes a moment to place a marker on when he finally felt a little certain about them. It never hit him, really, the feeling just grew over time, but he knows when that seed of thought was first planted in his heart. With a smile, Aaron continues, “when we sat on that bench drinking coffee. It just felt normal, y’know? Like we could really make this work this if we wanted to.”

“And we are, aren't we?”

“Yeah," Aaron affirms, for Robert's benefit or his own he isn't quite sure, but it seems to soften them both. "We are.”

Robert kisses him, then. It's the kind of softness that used to make Aaron ache, used to remind him that their time together was fleeting and Robert would never be his. Those feelings feel so distant now. Not only has Robert helped build him a business, he's built a home with Aaron, a _future_.

Smiling against each other's lips, Aaron hears their rings clink together again, and looks forward to a lifetime of dates with _his husband_.

**Author's Note:**

> (Nothing quite like a cheesy AF ending, ay?)
> 
> Title is from "Timebomb" by All Time Low.
> 
> Come chat to me on Tumblr! [@robertsugdn](http://robertsugdn.tumblr.com)


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